REAL TALK, Relationship Deal Breaker Edition

Whether you’ve been dating for years or just swiped right, relationships at every stage have both good and bad moments. In truth, the bad moments give us a better insight into how well one jives with their S/O. They demonstrate the strength of communication, the fighting tactics used by each individual, and how much each person is willing to compromise for the other. For me, there are four surefire relationship deal breakers.

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#1: LACK OF COMPROMISE: If you are in a relationship and find you are always the one making compromises, then maybe you aren’t in the right relationship for you. Relationships succeed when both parties are willing to make certain sacrifices. If one individual is consistently making concessions, while the other is always taking advantage, resentment will flourish and tension will rise. If you have no will to make compromises, then I think this is a sign you are just not that into the person you are with, and vice-versa. If you truly like someone and the feelings are mutual, each party needs to make some small concessions in order to maintain a healthy balanced relationship of both give and take. Whether it is eating at the restaurant your bae wants to eat at or watching a cheesy rom-com you normally wouldn’t dig, you should want to do these things just to make your person happy. It truly is the small things that make the biggest impact.

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#2: LACK OF PROTECTIVENESS: Call me old fashion but I think if someone cares for you they are protective of you. When you go out in the late afternoon or evening and head home via public transit, in a taxi, an uber, or even in your own car, I believe your S/O should check in to see if you made it home okay… and this goes both ways – if your man/lady leave you late at night you should ensure they made it to wherever they were going safe and sound. This by any means does not condone crazy stalker tendencies or give permission for them/ you to hound you/them with lectures about not going out late and their whereabouts, but it should be comforting to know that someone special to you is looking out for your wellbeing as you should be for theirs. ALSO, little bit of a side note but: if you are dropping someone off in your car, I believe it *should* be common sense and common courtesy for you to wait until they unlock their door and step inside before you drive away. I’ve noticed more and more that people drive away without ensuring their date/friend make it in their homes safely. May I remind you of the abduction of Leslie Mahaffy by Paul Bernardo. She was locked out of her house after missing curfew, and even though her friends walked her home, they left before she was inside. She reportedly told them the front door would be unlocked when they discovered the side door was not, but it wasn’t. Bernardo took advantage of the teen who was now alone, abducting her right off her street. So PLEASE, I beg of you, wait the extra minute and ensure your partner, friend, frenemy, or WHOEVER YOU DRIVE HOME, is safe inside before speeding off.

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#3: LACK OF COMMUNICATION: Lack of communication relates to all levels of communication… from whether you are having trouble speaking to your partner about what you want and need in the relationship or the actual lack of talking when you are together or apart. When you are with someone romantically typically you want to hear about their day, their dreams and aspirations, what happened during the newest episode of their favourite show, and anything else they deem important – essentially you just want to hear from them. Personally, I love it when a guy calls me just to chat or make plans rather than sending me a Snapchat or text. A phone call is much more personal and, if I’m being honest, it is sometimes just really freaking sexy hearing that muffled, raspy voice over the telephone… #truestory #bigturnon #’socallmemaybe’…. ANYWAYS, moving on, if there is no communication is there really any spark? If you have nothing in common or do not crave to tell them anything of substance, why are you with this person?Because you are afraid to be lonely? Because they are hot? Really? I’ll just leave this right at that.

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